Future Prospects
by TJ-TeeJay
Summary: As their high school graduation party comes to an end, Adam and Joan talk about their past and their future. Prequel for Sisterdebmac and TeeJay's story Butterflies.


**Future Prospects**

_by TeeJay_

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**Summary:  
**_As their high school graduation party comes to an end, Adam and Joan talk about their past and their future. Prequel for Sisterdebmac and TeeJay's story "Butterflies"._

**Author's Note:  
**_This story plays in the same Joaniverse as Sisterdebmac's and my story "Butterflies" and should be considered a prequel and a sequel to Sisterdebmac's "The Haircut". Butterflies takes us into the future, it plays in 2010 and beyond, but we don't learn much about what happened in between the TV show's ending and then. Let this be a short excursion into Adam and Joan's past. Don't worry, though. You don't need to know either of those stories to understand this one._

_Credit should be given to CountTheCrows, because re-reading the first chapter of her story "All The King's Horses And All The King's Men" suddenly inspired me to write this. Also, thanks go out to Deb for the polish and all the fanfic talk and pretty much everything. You da (wo)man!_

**Disclaimer:  
**_These characters and settings are not mine. Nor am I claiming they are. They are property of CBS, Barbara Hall Productions, Sony or whoever else they might belong to. I'm not making any money out of this, although I wish I was._

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At its high point, the graduation party at Arcadia High was buzzing with excitement and music and dancing and vibrancy. It was a mild summer night with the air slowly turning cool, and the last students were either leaving or gravitating towards the inside of the school building to find warmth or drinks or whatever else they were after.

Joan looked around, and she spotted a familiar figure. Adam was sitting on the steps to the side, half hidden by the dark. She studied him for a long moment without him noticing. His face bore a serene look with a twinge of sadness. And it was ever so beautiful, even with the short hair he had been wearing since his aunt Louisa's wedding last year.

She went up to him and slowly sat down next to him. He looked at her, tried to smile for her, but neither of them said anything. It was a conversation they had both dreaded and avoided. But there was no way around it. Joan finally relented. "So, this is it."

His answer was almost a sigh. "Yeah. Guess so."

"When are you gonna leave for Rhode Island?"

He shrugged. "I'm gonna go up there in two weeks to check out the dorm and stuff. They have an open day where you can have people show you around."

"Cool," was all she could say before they fell silent again.

She didn't know why he seemed so hesitant to keep a conversation going. Maybe it was the melancholy of this night, maybe it was the whole past year, or maybe it was just Adam.

When she looked back on their final year of high school, things had been mildly crazy, and mostly just normal. Or whatever was considered normal in Joan's life. Finals had put a strain on everyone, and now that they were over, she guessed Adam had fallen into that seemingly endless hole of nothingness that had hit everyone to some degree. That void of idleness and feeling useless. She surely felt it, but maybe even more so because she didn't have a clear cut career in front of her like Adam did.

He had been accepted into Rhode Island School of Design, and he had been so jazzed then. He had come to her in the school hallway, waving the letter in front of her. "Jane, I got in!" he had said breathlessly, a rare cheerful smile lighting up his features. "Rizde, I got in!"

She had smiled with him, genuinely happy. Until it had hit her that he would be gone from her life for a few years. The news didn't seem quite so joyful after that.

She suddenly felt a shiver run over her. It had become chilly and the cold from the stone steps was penetrating the thin fabric of her dress. She rubbed her bare upper arms with her hands to keep warm. Adam noticed and took off his suit jacket, draping it over her shoulders. When his hands grazed her skin, she so ached for his touch—his gentle, loving touch that she hadn't felt for so long. Ever since... that spring.

She suddenly felt the sting of tears in her eyes, but she fought them back. Still, it didn't go unnoticed by Adam, and she wondered if he had some kind of radar for that sort of thing. It was like he could feel it when she was upset.

"Hey," he whispered. "Why are you crying?"

She looked up and wiped at the tear that broke loose and rolled down her right cheek. In this moment of total clarity she was brave enough to admit, "I'm gonna miss you."

His eyes clouded over ever so slightly. In that soft voice of his he said, "Jane." And the way he said it, it sounded like a beautiful painted portrait that only brought out her best features. "Don't say that. I'm gonna come back to Arcadia whenever I can. There's e-mail, there's phones."

Yes, there was all of that, but they both knew it wouldn't be the same.

She looked up at the clear night sky, studying the stars. Luke could probably recite in lengthy detail which constellation she was looking at and which stars formed it. Adam's gaze followed hers and silence fell once again.

He remembered something, and he asked her, "Do you remember, that day in the bookstore, when I cut my hair."

She laughed. "I was just thinking about that, actually. You were telling me about the tux you had rented."

"Yeah. I never got to show it to you, did I?"

"Not even photos."

"I'll e-mail you some, I promise. But, you know, that day... Somehow it all seemed so full of possibilities after that day. You know, for us. Remember? That incredible kiss..." he trailed off, watching as she nodded and smiled a little. He continued, "I thought maybe we'd—" What? Magically get back together. Why not? Why...?

He looked at her, drew her eyes to his. "Why do you think we never... went back to that?"

The truth was, she didn't know. All she could see now was missed opportunities. She told him she still wasn't ready to sleep with him. Maybe they'd both been a little reluctant to act on that painful chemistry they both still felt. Once he'd been accepted to Rizde, she knew there was no real future for any sort of working relationship with him living hundreds of miles away for three or four years.

She gave him credit for keeping his promise never to push her again. He gave her all the space she needed, but he was always there for her when she called. He was determined to prove to her that she could trust him. In a way it was like starting over from the beginning, learning each other anew. He was different now. Braver. She knew he would be OK out there in the world without her. As much as the thought of him leaving her behind hurt, she was very proud of him.

There would be other girls. She hated that, though she had no right. She gave him up. But sitting here with him now, feeling him slip away, she wished they had given it another chance. It would've been better. She felt sure of that. She wondered if he had thought about it as much as she had, and if he still wanted it. Why did they deny themselves what they had wanted for a whole year?

It was all moot now anyway. He was leaving and she'd be stuck in Arcadia. And she would still be happy for him and the opportunities that were being given to him, if it all wasn't so damn depressing.

She didn't know what possessed her when she said, "What would have been the point of going back to that?"

He looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean this. You're leaving, we'll be hundreds of miles apart. Isn't it better this way?"

"Are you saying it would be different if I was staying here?"

She shrugged. "No. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. It was always so complicated with us."

"Yeah, that it was. I just... kinda feel like maybe we should have tried harder."

"We agreed not to force this, Adam."

"I know."

"Maybe we need to face the possibility that we're not meant to be."

He looked down at his feet. She was giving up on them, what could he say? But he shook his head. He would never accept that. He absently played with a small piece of gravel he had picked up from the ground. "You know, maybe it was a bad decision to go to Rhode Island."

She looked at him. "Why would you say that?"

"Because it means losing you, you said that yourself."

"Adam, that's not what I meant. That's totally not what I meant. This is a great opportunity for you. I mean, how amazing is it that you got that scholarship in the first place? You always wanted to make a living off your art. This is your chance. You're gonna be great, and college is gonna be great." She moved her knee outward, so that it collided with his, giving it a soft thump. "All those hot college girls..."

He had to smile at that, but turned serious again after a moment. "You know I'm not interested in that."

"Oh, you will be, once you get there," she kept joking.

"You know, the truth is, I find it all pretty scary."

In a low voice, she said, "It _is_ scary, Adam. But it won't be for long. You'll feel at home there in no time. Like you said, there's always e-mail and phones and IM."

"So, what about you? When are you gonna start your internship?"

She was going to Arcadia Community College in the fall. She'd decided to study sociology, anthropology and psychology. Though she was having a terrible time choosing a career path, she figured it might help in her missions if she understood people and the world a bit better. She also applied for a few internships with non-profit organizations that sounded interesting. She had been accepted by United Way. She'd be working in the local office.

"It starts in September. Plenty of time to relax and just veg all summer. Mom and Dad have also been talking about all of us going on a summer trip. Last vacation together for the family and all that. I don't think Kevin's too enthused. Truth is, I'm not either. Three weeks with my dysfunctional family in close proximity? There has to be a better way to spend the summer."

"Dad's gonna drag me out to Philadelphia to see Aunt Lou and her kids too. I mean, they're nice and all, but her husband's a little weird. He's, like, really rich, and their house is full of marble and antiquities and all this really expensive art. I'm always afraid to touch anything. He's hardly there and he doesn't talk much. They live way outside town in the middle of nowhere, there's like nothing out there but these super exclusive golfing and lakeside communities. It's such a bore. There's not even a theater for, like, forty miles or something ridiculous."

She laughed softly. "Okay, that makes a Girardi family vacation sound like heaven."

A small smile lit up his face too when she asked, "Will I see you again before you leave?"

"I don't know. Depends on when you'll be back from your vacation... I hope so."

She stood up and took his jacket off her shoulders. He stood too as she handed it to him. "I should go," she said, as if it wasn't already clear that she was ending their talk.

"You want me to drive you home?"

"No, Mom's still inside with Price, she'll take me."

"Okay," he nodded.

They walked down the path until it was clear their ways would separate—and not only for this night. They stood awkwardly for a moment before Joan made the first step and pulled him into a hug. Into his ear she whispered through a lump in her throat, "I'll see you. Don't disappear, you hear me?"

"I promise," he whispered back, holding on to her until she pulled back. His gaze on her was intense and she could see that ever-present sadness and regret in his eyes that he could hide from most everyone but her. "Jane," he whispered, but she shushed him by putting her finger on his lips.

"Go and be a genius artist, Adam Rove," she said. "And maybe one day you can come back to me and we can pick up where we left off that day in the bookstore."

His heart lept briefly and he smiled at her. They both knew it was an empty promise, a lot could happen in three years. Who knew if they could wait that long? But it was a comforting thought that maybe they might find each other again.

"Goodbye Jane," he said and she could see that his eyes were filling with tears. It sounded so final, so ultimate.

Before either of them would break down completely, she turned and went towards the school building. She didn't turn back around, but if he she had, she would have seen Adam walking toward the parking lot with his head bowed, lingering in front of the truck for just one more moment before he unlocked it and got in.

It was the end of the chapter, with no real idea of what the next one would bring. And from now on, these chapters would belong to stories that would be written in two separate books.


End file.
